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STAFF Each flat normally had two full-time staff looking after us. When I arrived, our flat was slightly different, having only seven of us and only the Sister full-time; the helper was often there only part-time. When Sister had any time off, the helper looked after us on her own. It became known to all that Sister would soon retire. A new lady now came in, first as the day relief for Sister, then as a trainee Houseparent. It was finally revealed shortly before Sister actually retired, this lady was going to be our new permanent Houseparent. The staffing level was also increased; we would have a second adult permanently to join us; the only point when it would drop to one adult would be when one of them had a day off. Our numbers now increased to ten to match the other flats, by adding two young boys and a young girl. The four youngest now formed into a group. The eldest girl was on the point of leaving school and going to college. Her presence in the flat had been more to help Sister than to play with us. The other four were older than me, and had been in the Home far longer than I had. They formed into a second group of four; I just did not fit into either group easily. For most of the time I had to be placed in one of the groups – neither of which really wanted me, nor I them. As well as the increase in the number of children in our flat, there was also an increase in animal numbers. There was a dog for the Houseparent, and guinea pigs and a rabbit for the younger children. At first, the younger children found their pets wonderful playthings; the actual cleaning out of the cages was not such a nice task for them. My Saturday chore was now cleaning out the rabbit; I did not mind this. It was always surprising how much mess one rabbit could make. During the week, he was fed and watered, but on a Saturday a whole morning could be spent first cleaning out the cage, then removing all the used straw and other material, then cleaning down the entire patio. It was difficult to call me in to do other chores until I had completely finished my tasks. If there were puddles on the floor in the flat, the dog took all the blame. The other major change to the flat was that we all moved downstairs when I was getting close to eleven years of age; the staff and almost everything in the flat came with us. Keeping things simple over the move was achieved by unscrewing the flat numbers and swapping them over. All mail still went to the correct address when it was worked out where each flat really was. With the new Houseparent, we found our lives were much easier on chores; but to me there were still too many restrictions over my life. The Houseparent told me that if I wet the bed, I would be given the slipper. On going to bed, I was now in fear of the punishment for bedwetting that was still happening every few days. Within a few days of her taking charge I soon learnt that it was not an idle threat; even on Christmas morning at the age of nine there was no amnesty for wetting my bed. One matter we found different between Sister and the new Houseparent was in the way that they reacted if we were in trouble. We had all been used to what to expect if we were in Sister’s bad books: first there would be a strong telling off then a selection of chores would be set. Once Sister was satisfied that you had learnt your lesson, the chores would come to an end. If Sister gave me the slipper I would be taken to the bedroom and punished and that was then the end of the matter. With our new Houseparent there was a very different reaction. We had been quite used to Sister getting angry over very minor matters, but she never physically hit us out of anger. If you were close to the Houseparent, you could find that she hit out at you; often it was the back of her hand and wrist that would land on your head or shoulder. As children, most of us were quite light in build; the Houseparent was quite short and stocky. One of her hits could actually knock you down. If I were going to be punished, I would have rather have been hit with the slipper or the cane. To get her hand suddenly hitting you was upsetting. We soon learnt that if we had done wrong, it was best not to be close if she was losing her temper. With our bedroom divided up, the older two had a room on their own, the brother and his sister took over what had been the Relief Houseparents’ room, and the boy a little younger than us came into our room. As there was only a slight difference in ages between the two of us, it was thought we should now take some responsibility for looking after the two younger boys. My room mate seemed to have the first choice over who he wanted to act as a big brother to, selecting the younger boy in the other room; he possibly guessed that as that boy shared the room with his sister, she would do a lot of the work. Our main chore in the morning was helping them getting dressed and making their beds. At their ages of three and almost five, it was thought that they were too young to do this all on their own. Once we had washed and had dressed ourselves, we set about dressing the two younger boys. Both of them were at the nursery school so their clothing was not that difficult to sort out. The boy I looked after could more or less dress himself correctly, but for speed it was easier to physically dress him. It took little effort on his part if he was willing to sit still. There could be fun for me if he played up; I would lightly snap the leg elastic on the waterproof pants he wore under his trousers, until he co-operated with dressing. He had been told that when he joined the infants and it was known he could be trusted for longer periods, the pants would not have to be worn, except on long journeys when it might help save embarrassment. Once our own beds were made, we set about helping the other two boys. On many mornings I needed to find him clean sheets, as often he had brought up odd bits of mucus due to his illness. The Houseparent apparently welcomed this; it was not really the best sight before breakfast. The regular wet beds between them were much easier to face. As their sheets were taken to soak, we had them tell each other that they had made the best stain. Taken in this way, both were quite happy to think of it more as fun. I wished that I could face the event in such a way and not be punished by the Houseparent. The only time I was let off the slipper by the Houseparent, was if the younger boy in our room had been sick during the night. Rather than wake the Houseparent up with the need for clean sheets, he was encouraged by her to share my bed for the remainder of the night. There was never the need for him to admit that he might have caused the accident if my bed was wet in the morning. I think the Houseparent let me off the punishment simply for the reason that she was not woken up by him asking for attention. Other than bed-making and helping them dress, there were few chores other than to help with shoe cleaning where they might need a little bit of a hand. We encouraged them to go out in their wellingtons to avoid cleaning their play shoes. The Houseparent did not give us any praise if their shoes were clean; they were the ones praised if their clothes were smart. I was given the slipper from the Houseparent for several matters other than bedwetting, the first time was after I had failed to clean my play shoes before lunch. They were not very muddy and as I was going out in them after lunch, I had just put them in the shoe cupboard. If they had been very dirty and started to drop bits of mud onto the other clean shoes, I could see why the Houseparent would be cross. As there was just a little dirt, I could not see the point in cleaning them if I was going out as soon as lunch was over. There was a telling off; that I did not go straight away and clean them was the reason that I should be punished. Unlike Sister, I was now taken forcibly in front of everyone to my bedroom. There might have been a chance if I had really apologised at that moment to get off, but within seconds it was too late; I was made to lie across the end of the bed after she demanded that I should give her one of my slippers. The hits came quite fast; four heavy blows soon ended the matter of not cleaning my shoes. I was in tears but not given any chance to recover. I was now led out of the room and back to where my shoes were. Now I was told clean them; I was not going out again that day. I annoyed the Houseparent after this punishment by never wearing my play shoes again. Every time we were sent out to play, I wore either plimsolls or wellingtons. Slowly the shine on my play shoes vanished. The Houseparent did not ask me to clean them again. When my feet grew to the next size up, the play shoes were removed and never replaced. The second time I managed to get the Houseparent cross enough to use the slipper on me was when one of the younger boys said that I had taken some of his sweets. I was innocent of this matter; he had been foolish enough to leave a half-open packet of sweets around; the first one passing had simply taken them. I was finishing the last of my own sweets at the time. Had I spat it out, he would have easily seen it was not a type he had purchased. By the time the Houseparent was told of the loss of his sweets, I had finished my sweet so there was no way I could prove my innocence. Now accused of stealing his sweets and teasing him by eating them in front of him, meant I had to be punished. The journey to my bedroom was made. The Houseparent wanted to make the punishment hurt. I was angry at having to be punished over something that I had not done, so there was little co-operation over taking my trousers down and giving her one of my slippers. Only the threat that if I did not take down my trousers, she would remove both my trousers and underpants, got me to co-operate over the matter. At the age of almost ten, I would have been too embarrassed to be hit on my rear without anything on, even if there were no others to see. I was already in tears with anger, before the blow even hit. The three blows were as heavy as the previous time; more tears came quite easily. I was told to pull my shorts up, and asked did I now admit to stealing the sweets; my anger was still there so I refused to admit my guilt for something I had not done. Having stood up I was now bent back across my bed and a further three hits with the slipper were given after my trousers were taken down again. I was really in tears. I was taken still crying to the boy who had lost his sweets, and told to say sorry. Having had the slipper, I was not in any mood to apologise to a younger child. Just inches away from him, my anger got the better of me: one slight shove from me and telling him I did not take his sweets ended my freedom. Removed at speed, it was possibly a surprise to all that I was not clouted all the way to my bedroom. The only comments from the Houseparent were that I should know not to steal. This time my trousers were not taken down; six hits came in quick succession. Pain-wise it now really hurt, having a dozen hits I thought was an impossible number for such a minor offence. I had gone past the crying stage; the Houseparent ignored my screaming. I was not going to be returned to the others. As it was early afternoon, it was too early to send me to bed. My bed was now stripped of all its blankets and sheets. I was told to lie on my bed until I was thought of good enough behaviour to rejoin the others. Knowing how the mind of the Houseparent worked, I would have thought she would have told me to lie on my back, but I was allowed to lie on my front. As she left, I was told that she did not want to see me out of the room for any reason. My crying slowly stopped. The pain however was still there to the full; it felt as if my rear was hot and cold at the same moment. Unlike with the cane there were no actual ridges that I could feel, it was an all-over throbbing pain. I must have stayed lying on my front for a long time. One of the older boys sneaked in and stood by the door – he was risking similar punishment just for his visit. I was told that the Houseparent was not in a mood any more, and that soon she would be in to see me. It was now known that I had not taken the sweets; one of the girls had put them safe to stop them getting eaten, and she had only just come back from playing outside, so did not know that the Houseparent had accused me of taking them. Within seconds, he departed. I should have been happy to hear that I was innocent, but it was too late, I had already been punished. Shortly the Houseparent came in. I was not in any mood for her, even if there was an apology, I kept my head buried in my pillow and faced the wall. Now I was told to get up from my bed. It was not really an apology; it was suggested that had I not pushed the boy, I would not have been in so much pain. During tea I stood up to eat, the others took my standing up to show that I had really been hit. Although they did not know the number of times, they knew it had been quite high in number. After tea was finished I was on the list for washing up. To make up for the punishment I was let off, but going to watch the television was a little painful. When my normal bedtime came I was not hurried off but I was allowed to stay up as late as the older ones. Being punished that day did have a few benefits, as I was able to watch a couple of programmes that I would not normally see. When we were sent off to bed, the older three begged to see what my rear was like. Their description was that it was blue and red. I was given a mirror to hold so I could see the reflection in the main mirror; it did not look that bad and the pain had generally gone now except if I touched the main area. Once in bed, I spent my night on my front or on my side. The following morning I was back to normal and had more or less forgiven the Houseparent. I was excused chapel that day; I hated to think what sitting on the hard wooden seat would have been like. For lunch, I seemed to be given slightly better portions of food. I thought school on Monday was going to be normal, but when it came to leaving the flat to go off to school I was kept back until last, and then told that I could have the day off. I knew the Houseparent did not want me telling all my friends about the punishment. Now alone, we came to an agreement. If I did not tell my friends, I might find the odd reward came my way if I was good. I could now see some pleasure in life; telling my friends at school how I was punished was not really something I would have done. In the normal way, I would not even tell them over being hit by a teacher – telling on the staff at the Home was even less likely. For a little while, my life at the Home was easier, when the entire matter was forgotten and everything returned to normal.
When I was to be punished by the Houseparent in the evening, I would be taken to her sitting room, so as not to disturb the younger boy in my room who had already gone to bed. Often my own slipper was not requested; as her sitting room was next to the shoe cupboard it was easier for her to select one of the larger slippers from the shelves. If they were all in use, then one of the rubber galoshes that belonged to the older girls was chosen. With her room being fairly cramped, if I were to bend over there would not be enough room for her to get a good enough swing at me. The palms of my hands were the targets on these occasions. On the days the Houseparent had time off, the helper was in sole charge. Some of the older boys were a little more mischievous, but we all knew that anything we did would be reported to the Houseparent on her return. It appeared that I was not to be given any leeway over my activities so a few of my actions resulted in the slipper. There was the choice offered to me by the helper, either I could accept the slipper now or wait for the decision by the Houseparent on her return. The slipper from the helper was always quite light. There might have been the chance that the helper would have forgotten and not reported me. I chose punishment at that moment; it seemed an easy way out and was soon over. If I received the slipper for bedwetting from the helper, it was in font of the other two before we went off to the bathroom; this to me was a little embarrassing, but I was never in tears. When the Houseparent took over from Sister the chores lessened slightly, but it was easy to see that a few other flats could be wonderful to live in. At one point when our flat was closed down for redecoration and minor alterations to the layout, we were divided up between several other flats for a week or so. I was placed in a flat where the others were my age or slightly younger. The style of life was so different. Although there was no real misbehaviour, the flat seemed to run so smoothly. Chores were not things that were either ordered or required; if you did help out, it was through wanting to be helpful, rather than being told to do something. There were no punishments. Even when a boy of my age who normally lived there wet his bed, he did not receive the slipper in the morning. Meals were strange as for almost every meal we were given a choice of what we would like to eat. The meals and general life it appeared were normal and not put on for guests. Eventually our flat was ready and we appeared from our various locations. If most of us had experienced slightly different ways of life, trying to hint that other ways of running a flat were possible, such matters were soon quashed and our more boring existence returned.
Continued Please click on link http://www.philipastrangechild.com/page_1170414700718.html .
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 | Introduction | | 1963 School Lessons | | 1965 NCH Home Life | | 1966 NCH Home Life | | 1965 NCH File Part 1 | | 1968 NCH File Part 2 |