THE WINDOW

One of the new members of our family was not in as good heath as the rest of us. He suffered from a serious problem although not something that could be passed onto us; it meant that although being able to appear to be reasonably healthy, there were many restrictions as to his life.

A special diet always needed to be followed, and at all meals, two forms of revolting medicine had to be taken by him before any food could be eaten. We were never to share our sweets with him; the Houseparent did allow him some sweets but there was only a very limited choice he was allowed.

Before going to bed, there was a session of physiotherapy to bring up the congestion from his lungs but, for the most part, he fitted in quite well with the rest of us. This only affected me during the night. On many occasions, there were bouts of coughing. For some reason I tended to wake up, and within moments, he would be asleep again. For me it was different; once I was awake, getting back to sleep again was always difficult, and often at the moment I was starting to nod off the coughing would start again. The following days I would be generally irritable due to the lack of sleep, and even resorting to wax earplugs did little good. The Houseparent looked after the boy with great care and saw that we did not upset him or bully him for any reason.

Matters came to a head one day shortly before tea. Three of us had been given the instruction to put away our toys and tidy up the dayroom before tea started. Two of us started to tidy the things away. The boy had a jigsaw puzzle partly completed; this was in the lid of the box. It would have been quite easy to move the lid of the box to a flat surface rather than to put the puzzle completely away. This was suggested by the two of us, but he was adamant that the puzzle had to stay in the middle of the table. He would not get into trouble for leaving things out, and as we were the older ones, we would be at fault.

The other boy had a good idea; he was going to go out and pretend that he was telling the Houseparent of the refusal to put the puzzle away. Going out of the room and along the corridor he was out of sight. There was no intention of actually telling the Houseparent, it was simply that this method might get the puzzle put away. Spotted by the Houseparent, he was given the message to go and tell the boy to come for his medicine. On his return, it was with glee that he told the boy that the Houseparent wanted him, although not mentioning it was for his medicine. A flood of tears now started. I took this opportunity to put the box with its puzzle onto a higher flat surface. This upset the boy even more, and I was nowhere near when he grabbed the box and upset the puzzle totally. The tears now became a loud howl; the two of us decided that it was perhaps best if we were not on the scene.

A hasty retreat was now made to the bathroom, where a washing of our hands occupied the time whilst the Houseparent went to investigate why the boy had not come for his medicine and to see who was making that awful noise. A safer place would have been in the secure lavatory cubicle but this was already occupied, and the boy inside possibly thought it best to remain there if there was trouble around. The Houseparent pounced, my partner in crime vanished at this moment, and as I seemed to be the culprit, there was little point in him staying around to see if he was also guilty. There was a major telling off for my bullying activity. I was grabbed by the shoulders and shaken to show how I should feel to be bullied by someone else.

The Houseparent although not tall was well built, and this was no match for my light build. I was lifted slightly off my feet. My head then went back onto the lavatory door; a pane of frosted glass in the door might have been slightly less hard as it shattered than the wood or my head.

If I started to scream, it was due to the lumps of glass that were embedded in the back of my head. It was possibly a surprise for the boy inside the cubicle to find that my head had broken the glass. Like my many nose bleeds I now seemed to drip blood onto every available surface. I was wrestled to the bath and the cold tap was turned on at full force to wash away the blood and to clean my cuts. It was not that she was trying to drown me; it was that the force of the water was so strong it just felt like she was. At the same point my head was held under the flowing tap, I was struggling to get free. My screams brought all to see what the commotion was, but all were soon sent away. Now dragged to the bedroom, I was put to bed with a towel wrapped around my head. Left alone the Houseparent went to sort tea out for the rest of the family group.

The nursing Sister was sent for; soon my cut was examined and there appeared to be no glass remaining. The force of the water had made a good job of cleaning out my cut. I should visit her tomorrow and a further look would be made as to how my cut was healing.

Left alone I was angrier at missing tea than I was about the cut to my head. Shortly after this, both the nursing Sister and the Governor came to see me. It seemed I would survive. Once they left, the Houseparent said that I would be brought some tea and I was allowed to visit the lavatory at this point. In my mind I felt well enough to get up to eat, but I was confined to my room for the rest of the day. The only point that I saw the others was when they came to bed; it appeared I was to be kept quiet. Once left alone, they told me there had been a massive row before the Governor arrived, between our Houseparent and the Nursing Sister over my injury.

The following morning apart from some blood on my pillow, I felt fine. I might want to get even with the boy at some point, but that could wait. Once breakfast was over, instead of chores I was sent over to see the nursing Sister. My cut had healed nicely; her only thought, once some antiseptic ointment was in place, was that I should try not to put my comb through that area for a while. In a couple of days, I should be back just to make sure everything was fine. On returning to the flat expecting to get ready to go off to school, the Houseparent told me that I could have the day off school, and to go and change into my play clothes.

I was given the choice of either finding something to do quietly in the dayroom or to go outside. I opted to go outside, and I was asked to return by noon for some lunch. As things went I was quite happy with the day off from school, and apart from my head itching a little where there was a little clotted blood, I felt fine. Wandering round the Home when there were no other children was the best thing about the place. Other than a small amount of noise coming from the nursery school there was nothing else that informed you it was a Children’s Home; it was just like having a large park to yourself.

Eventually around noon, I returned to the flat for lunch. Once over I was again given the choice of inside or out and I opted for outdoors again. I was happy, but things returned to normal later in the afternoon when the others returned from school. The Houseparent commented I had not been seen since lunch and wondered if I had been up to any mischief. Tea and chores over, I was free again until bedtime. The others had asked about my head, but as I seemed to be fine, nothing more was really said.

The rest of the day was spent outside. It was only when I was returning to the flat, I was met by one of the boys who said I was to go over and see the Governor. Not really having done anything wrong over the past few weeks, I did not appear afraid when I rang the bell and went into the office in his house.

Within moments, it was easy to see that things were not fine. I was told that if I did anything like that again I would be severely punished. It was over in seconds. I did not have time to realise if it was two or three strokes. Unlike his small stick that he carried in the grounds, I was punished now with the long cane. I only felt the first stroke, but from that point on it was simply pain.

It could have been worse had I been given it on my hand; the Governor had possibly noticed the sticking plaster I had over my left palm. This had been a souvenir from school over falling over in the playground. My thought was if I had been given the cane on my hand, would it have hurt more or would the sticking plaster have lessened the pain.

I wondered if the Houseparent had asked the Governor to give me the cane, or if the Governor had decided I needed to be punished. With the Houseparent not here, I did not know why I should be given the cane. I had not bullied the boy. I was told to return to my flat. That I was crying was in my mind the worst part; there was only a short distance between our flat and the Governor’s house.

I hid in some bushes and wiped away my tears. I was shaking; at school when I was given the cane I was prepared for the ritual of the telling off and then the punishment. This time it had been so sudden. The punishment was unfair; I had not bullied the boy, and it was not really my fault that the window was broken.

It took some time before I felt the courage to go into the flat. The others were not around; the older three were at the scout meeting and the younger two boys had already gone off to bed. Only the helper was there, and not knowing about the previous day’s activities in full and as there now was no sign of my tears, I was sent off to have my bath.

The warm bath was painful. I had no way of knowing what the bruises looked like and I would have to wait until the others returned to find out. Soon in my pyjamas, I was given supper and then sent off to bed. In a way I was happy about this – I did not really want to talk about receiving the cane. The older boy returned later. If I admitted at this point about the cane, he would only want to see my bruises and if caught out of bed, there would only be further punishment. I did not see the Houseparent at all that night; it was the helper that came to see we were in bed.

The following morning with the normal rush at getting ready for school and breakfast, there was no opportunity to find out if I was still bruised. During breakfast, I expected all to be informed over my visit to the Governor and the punishment I had received, but nothing was said. Only when I was just about to leave, was I taken quietly to one side by the Houseparent and asked if I was feeling all right to go to school; it was mentioned that it might be best if the matter was now forgotten about. At school if I admitted to friends over the punishment I had been given, the teachers would soon find out, then they would be on the look out for other things I might be doing wrong. Finally, the school day finished and life returned to normal.

It was only later that I found out more about the reason for my punishment. Unknown to me the Houseparent had come up with an excuse and had told the Governor that ‘I had performed’ on her. How or what I had actually done to the Houseparent was not something I had been accused of when I visited the Governor. All that he said to me was ‘that if I did anything like that again I would be severely punished’. I simply thought that he was accusing me of bullying the boy; he never explained the full reason he was going to cane me. The Governor apparently had accepted her word over the matter, and had not asked any of the others about the event.

If I had actually been accused of this event, I would have asked how was I allowed enough time to undo my trousers to do such an act. The Houseparent had grabbed me almost the moment I had been found by her. It might have been quite possible that my trousers were soaked at the time my head went through the window.  I don’t think I had an accident in my pants but it could have happened; my thoughts and what I remembered were more on the pain from the glass splinters in my head than if I was wetting myself with fear.

When I had been dragged to the bath and the cold tap turned on to its full extent, there was a lot of water splashed about, so if the Houseparent had needed any evidence of me soaking her, it was easy to find. On being taken to bed there did not seem to be a telling off other than for bullying the boy. If I had actually done such an act to her deliberately, everyone in the flat would have been told about it. If my punishment had been warranted over such a matter, why did she tell me the day after that the whole matter should be forgotten about. The Governor had even contacted my uncle that day, to report my activities. I wonder if the suggestion of giving me the cane was made then.

Continued

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