The Home having rather religious beliefs, I expected to be ordered to dress in my best shorts for the various services, but the Houseparent went out of her way to see that the riding breeches were clean and neatly pressed. I played along with her and spent ages putting a good shine on the boots. It did get me out of other chores as I seemed to her to be fully occupied.

The Christmas service was extra special. All those who could sing were in the choir, and even small groups that were not good enough for the main choir had practised extra pieces, and were huddled in various parts of the chapel for their turn to come. If the adults felt I should join in, it was by giving me the instruction to help with the collection and the giving out of song sheets. In my mind, it was better than having to sit in the pews for the entire service.

  Once Christmas was over, I managed to return to London for the final week or so of the holidays. The Houseparent decided that I might as well keep the pirate outfit; as the eye patch was now missing, it did not seem worth returning it to the Sister in charge of the clothing store. I was happy to be allowed to wear it back to London again. With Christmas and birthday money to spend, I could do so much. The weather might not have been fine but in London, there were plenty of places to shelter that were interesting. One major activity was to be taken to a theatre in the centre of London to see a play, whose main memorable line was ‘I don’t care’. Then it was returning to the Home, to find out more about what plans there were for me.

  JANUARY 1968

During the first week of term after the Christmas holidays, it was announced by the staff that I would leave my junior school and go to my new senior school. The rules that they seemed to have set, dictated that I was to be aged eleven before I could leave junior school. With my birthday early into the New Year, everything slotted into place.

On my final day the deputy head teacher had asked me to come to his room at the end of the day. This was perhaps the only day I actually did not mind visiting him. He was a teacher we knew who gave out sweets. Having family in the retail sweet trade, he was known to have a small supply of sweets in his cupboard. If you were in his class on your birthday, he would allow you to choose a few sweets or a large box of chocolates. We all knew these were dummy boxes of chocolates that were completely empty inside. A few of the girls did choose such a gift, but no boy was ever seen holding a large box with a pretty illustration and ribbons.

On the previous occasion of making a visit to his room, it had been with a friend due to some trouble we had been in. He was teaching one of the top forms. The Headmaster was away that day, so standing outside his office for the lunchtime break owing to our behaviour had not been possible. Our crime it appeared did not warrant the cane, however the slipper given at full force on our rears did really hurt, almost as much as when I had been caned by him.

If we could have left his room immediately after the punishment, everything would have been all right, but being ordered to stand up and endure a further telling-off in front of his class whilst we were in tears was awful.

This visit at the end of the day was a pleasure. As well as giving out sweets on your birthday, on the final day of school all in his class would be given sweets, and it appeared I deserved this as I was leaving. Some of the teachers might have said it was worth giving me sweets to get me to leave.

Once his class had left the room, after a short delay I was taken into the back room and allowed to choose a small selection. This slight delay meant that when I did leave the school playground everyone else had vanished. Within a short time I was back at the Home, a few of the sweets remained, but it was best not to tell the Houseparent the actual number I had eaten on my walk back.

There was a row now because I was a few minutes late. On my last day of school, it might have been expected that a few things might have delayed me, but to the Houseparent this was not allowed. Even if this was my last day I was expected to arrive back on time. I did not really sulk during tea, but my last day of junior school should have ended on a happier note.

  SENIOR SCHOOL

I was happy with my new school, although it meant leaving the flat before the others, as I had to travel a further distance. By the second day I had made a friend that came from close to the Home so I was not alone when I went into school, and although we were not in the same year and our ages were two years apart, we became good friends early on.

Back at the flat, there had been a week or so of the older boys simply trying to wind me up. Now I was at a different senior school from them, I was the enemy. I was an easy target with a new and different school uniform.

I was teased about the style of my new uniform; this was a plain dark blazer, and was far smarter than they wore. The item they were able to tease me over, was that for first and second-year pupils at the school I was at, short trousers were the norm. To them senior school pupils would wear long trousers.

Some of my new friends had told me that in the following school year there was going to be a change to the school uniform; the first and second-year pupils would have long trousers set as part of their standard uniform. I wondered if I could persuade the Houseparent to let me change to long trousers before that time to stop the older ones in the flat from teasing me.

On the occasions that they succeeded in winding me up, my temper got the better of me. The only time I was happy was when I left the grounds and headed off to my new school. At the end of the afternoon, it was coming back through the gates, and knowing that until the following morning, it would be a battle for me to keep out of trouble from the others in the flat.

I could delay my arrival back into the flat by completing my homework at school; at the end of the day one form room was available for any pupils that wanted to do their homework at school. To the staff at school it was a way they knew it would be completed and for a few, possibly a more quiet place to do it in.

LEAVING - FEBRUARY 1968
Things were starting to change; I knew that my mother and grandmother were soon going to be leaving the London flat and moving to Wiltshire, where an aunt and uncle now lived. The flat in London had only been twenty-five miles away and quite easy to visit. If they were moving to Wiltshire, it would be almost impossible to come and see me, and the visits to my mother would not really be possible due to the distance.

At some point, it was mentioned that as soon as my mother had settled in I would be able to join her. They thought by the start of the summer holidays, it might be possible for me to leave and return to her. I had the idea that if I was not able to return straight away to my mother, then their original idea that I might be moved to a different Home could easily come about. If my mother moved to Wiltshire with my aunt and uncle, to the adults it would make little difference if I were moved to a Home further away.

Returning to the Home was not something I had relished. I had tried to live in the group and appear to be part of it. However you grouped the various members, it normally meant that I did not fit in. Life at the Home on my return seemed to be easier. I did try to fit in, but the slightest thing that did not go right and I seemed to be the one that was blamed and punished.

One way of keeping me happy was to allow me to visit a friend who lived outside the Home. Once tea was over, I was allowed my freedom. A set time was given for my return and it was down to me to obey this time or risk this privilege being removed.

Fortunately my mother suggested that I might be able to return to her earlier than originally planned. There were a few days of minor chaos around half term that ensued when it was confirmed by the Houseparent that I was leaving.

The packing up of my possessions in the flat took some time. The contents of my locker were reduced considerably with a frantic selection of swapping to get toys, books and the like that would actually fit in my case together with my clothes.

The Houseparent saw that I had a full selection of new best clothes and an assortment of respectable play clothes. Of my own possessions, there was a slight problem over bicycles. The one that had replaced the bicycle that I had brought to the Home was not in current working order as it was partly in bits and under repair. My original bicycle was now really too small for me and was in the possession of one of the younger boys. Even if my bicycle had been in working order, when my uncle came in the car to collect me, the larger size of my current bicycle would have been impossible to get into the car.
The final point came, all farewells were said and that was simply the end. I sat in the car with the hope that I would not have to return.  I should have been happy; it was not that I was sad to be leaving the Home, but almost three years of my life had been spent here.

There was the feeling that although I disliked the place, my future was not that certain, and there was the thought that if the ideas my mother had did not go as planned, I would be returning here. If there had been an absolute guarantee that I would never have to return, I would have showed my true feelings as to how I felt about the Home.

FREEDOM
For almost three years, leaving the Home had seemed impossible. My uncle had collected me shortly before lunch. After a quick lunch at my aunt and uncle’s flat, we set off for London.
Soon we were in London; and all my possessions were back in my bedroom. This had originally been my grandfather’s room, but now it was mine. To be able to sleep in my own room without anyone chattering in the night would be wonderful. In the Home only the oldest girl had a bedroom on her own, something I would have loved.

I decided I needed to stay out trouble; it was on leaving the Home. There was the thought that if I did anything wrong the chances were that a place could be found for me back at the Home or in another Home.

It was not a case of wanting to hide myself away, but if there was the possibility of getting into minor trouble when out with other boys of my own age who wanted a little bit of fun, it was to decide that it was either best if I stayed indoors or went off on my own. Whilst other boys of my age if caught over minor events would simply get a telling off, if I was ever caught I might not get a second chance.

The move to Wiltshire would allow me a fresh start. I decided to try and go along with anything my mother said. There was always the chance that she would find that she would not be able to cope with both her mother and me.
As the Home was still taking some interest in me, if she was not able to cope, in my mind returning to the Home would be quite simple. Having now managed to leave the Home I did not want anything to jeopardise the arrangement.

There was one item I used to dread finding in the post that came to us, it was envelopes addressed by typewriter in blue ink. For some reason the NCH used blue ribbons in all their machines.
The envelopes might not have the logo of the NCH on the front of the envelope, but I knew exactly whom they were from. My only thoughts on seeing such an envelope was if my mother was making plans to put me back into the Home. Having seen an envelope at the point I was going off to school, the whole day would be spent worrying that I might be soon on the move again into a Children’s Home.

RETURN TO JUNIOR SCHOOL
Within a few days of settling in I returned to the school I had gone to before going to the Home. In a way I was a little disappointed that I was having to return to junior school, my mother had told me this was only going to be for a short while. Since I had last attended there had been a few changes.
A new headmaster had brought a more modern style to the whole school; walls were now decorated in bright colours.
There was one major change for me; I was to be placed in what to me seemed to be the lowest of the grades for my year. The explanation given was that as I was going to be here for only a few weeks, there was no real need for me to have to join a class where I might have to spend time in catching up on work that they might have already done.
Most of my school time was spent either colouring in drawings or listening to the teacher read stories to the class aloud. I was more disappointed having reached the status of first year senior school lessons and now been given first year junior school lessons, I saw no real point in going to school, but as there was the need for periods of quiet in the house due to my ill grandmother, I thought that having to go to this school was better than having to stay at the Home until we moved.

MOVING
The move to the country was something I was quite looking forward to. As I was now thought to be more grown up, my mother had decided that I would be able to have more freedom.
Our new location would allow me the freedom that I had before the stay at the Home then it would be ideal. If there was a bonus I was told that as we would be living in the country there might be the chance to take up pony riding again, I was bound to find a boy or girl with a pony that I might be allowed to ride.

The final couple of weeks at the London flat had been spent by my mother and her brother sorting out what items were to come with us and what would have to be got rid of. My uncle was going to move into a small furnished flat so other than his personal possessions there was very little that he would need.
The contents of the London flat had grown over many years; many of the items of furniture while they fitted easily into the large rooms here would not fit into an ordinary size house.
Eventually many of the items were sold off, however it had been decided that a large moving van would be needed to take the items we were keeping to Wiltshire.
My belongings had already been sorted out when I left the Home, there were only a few possessions that I already had in London so other than getting in the way a little I made no real difference to the move, had I stayed at the Home until my mother was settled, it would have been disappointing.
It had been decided that my mother's eldest brother would take us down to our new place, the family was quite close as there had been two opposite weddings of brothers and sisters in the family. This did me out of an extra set of aunts and uncles, but having little contact with them it did not really matter. 

MY NEW HOME
We set off, travelling by road was never my favourite, but we arrived without them having to stop to let me be sick during the journey.
The new house was quite large, it had been built into a hillside, from the front it really looked like a building with two floors plus a large attic, but in reality there was an extra floor that was below ground level at the front, the ground floor at the front became the first floor when you reached the rear of the building.

My aunt and uncle had a welcome for us when we arrived, but the moving van that rolled up a little while later was a bit of a shock.
It had been worked out that my grandmother would have a bed sitting room, my mother a bedroom and I would have half of the attic, compared with the London flat the rooms were less than half the size with more normal ceiling heights.

There was room for a bed, table, wardrobe in each room, but the rest of the furniture that had been brought down from London would simply not fit in, the small country size of doorways and passageways leading around the building meant that even if room was found for furniture, it would have been impossible to move the furniture indoors. The dining table when the leaves were fully out would seat sixteen, if it had been put in the largest room there would not even have been room to put chairs in let alone allow anyone to sit down, there was also a large sideboard. More tables, sets of chairs, and a good selection of other items that simply were not going to fit inside.
A large garage was with the house, this enabled everything to be put away in the dry until it was worked out if any of the items would fit indoors.  

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