.

123. 29.12.71 Report of Child Care Officer.

When I called to see Philip and his mother on 20th December, I was greeted with the news that they had moved to the South Coast.

The mother’s sister said that their mother had died in October after having another stroke. The mother had then felt that she was free to apply for a job, which would enable her to be more independent and to live on her own with Philip.

The mother had subsequently accepted a post as a housekeeper in a family house. I was given her new address. She had been asked to start before Christmas and therefore moved two days ago on Saturday 18th December.

The sister said that the job sounded very pleasant, but it would remain to be seen how the mother and Philip settled.

The sister is prepared to have her sister and Philip back again should this prove to be necessary, she said that her sister had written to us to inform us of her move. 

On 21st December the letter from the mother was received informing of her new address. 

On 22nd December I called to see the mother and Philip in their self-contained flat attached to the main house. They are very comfortably housed but as they had only moved on 18th December it was early days to say that they were settled. The mother does all the cooking and some of the housework in the large house with a permanent family of three, but there are frequent and numerous guests.

The mother has an agreement with her employer that the situation is reviewed after two weeks.

This is a start to a new life for Philip and his mother; if the mother can cope with the work it should prove very satisfactory. The house is situated in an affluent residential part of the town about one mile from the centre. Philip will have some distance to travel to school and the mother was going to make enquiries at two schools after Christmas. The Headmaster of Philip’s school had given her two schools to which she should apply.

I asked the mother to let us know if after two weeks it was necessary to return to her sister. If we did not hear from her, I would call early in the New Year to see if Philip was settled in a school.  

124. 21.12.71 Letter to Child Care Officer from the Mother.

Things are happening so fast here; I think I’d better let you know what’s afoot.

The sad news first, my mother died suddenly in October, she was quite well in the evening & I went in her room about 10.30 p.m., then about mid-night I heard her shouting, she was having another stroke which lasted until 4 a.m. when she died.

Now for happier things, Phil & I are off to the South Coast on the 18th. After waiting weeks & writing dozens of letters, the right job seems to have come along; I am to be housekeeper in a large beautiful house. We have our own flat, two bedrooms, bathroom, sitting room (with TV), it’s rather a pity Phil will have to change schools just in his last year, but I think this position is too good to miss.

I was invited to the prize giving at the school as Phil won his form’s Progress Prize, a nice book; he was twice rewarded as his aunt & uncle bought him a very smart radio for ‘good effort’. I do hope we will see you either before we depart or when we are at our new address. 

125. 04.01.72. Report of Child Care Officer. 

I called on 3rd January to see if Philip and his mother had settled in, and to hear how she managed all the Christmas arrangements.

As far as the mother is concerned, everything went satisfactorily and she is prepared to continue; the final decision naturally rests with her employer.

Philip will attend one of two schools; both are about one and a half miles away from where he is living. The mother said she had been advised to wait until Wednesday 5th January before making enquiries.

Philip hopes to leave school at the end of term, when he is anxious to work in one of the town’s stamp shops. Stamp collecting had been Philip’s one real hobby and he would like to make enquires fairly soon regarding a possible vacancy for an assistant. Philip already knows of four or five stamp shops.

I recommend that visiting continue for a few more months, possibly until Philip is settled in some work, when this case could then be closed. 

126. 10.02.72. Report of Child Care Officer.

I met the mother by chance in town; she was out shopping and had just recovered from an attack of influenza.

She seems settled in her new job and as far as she knows everything is going satisfactorily. Her sister and brother-in-law visited and they were impressed with the present situation.

Philip is attending a boys’ school; he has been persuaded to stay on at school until he is 16 and to take examinations.

The mother said that there is strict discipline at the school and Philip has a good deal of homework. Philip has settled happily, and gets down to his homework without any trouble and appears to be working well.

I would recommend that consideration could be given to the possibility of closing this case at the end of March, after I have made one more visit.  

127. 08.05.72 Report of Child Care Officer.

Visit of 04.05.72 The Mother is now very well settled in her job as housekeeper in the large private house.

Philip is doing well at school and had recently had a good report. He will be staying on until July 1973 in order to take several subjects in examinations. He maintains his great interest in ‘stamps’ and definitely wants a career in this line.

He thinks that the school will give him good help in finding a suitable job and will seek further advice from the Careers Adviser if necessary. Philip has already made some enquiries in the town about opportunities in the work he wants to do and is very hopeful of being able to find what he wants.

As both the mother and Philip are so well settled financially and materially, I suggested that they were no longer in need of our help and support. The mother thanked us for all that we had done for Philip as well as for her and for the interest we had taken in both of them.

In view of this satisfactory situation, I recommend that we close this case.  

 128. 22.05.72 Letter to Bristol NCH from London NCH.

We note your comments. This is receiving our attention. I should be glad if you would kindly let us have the main file in due course.  

129 10.05.77 Letter to NCH London from Philip.

Asking if any records were held and would it is possible to have a copy of them. 

130 17.05.77 Letter to Philip from NCH.

Replying to request to see file.

We do, of course, have records of your three-year stay at Harpenden, which are not possible to be copied.

You did come up to Highbury in October 1967 when you were rather unsettled at Harpenden and when it was felt that tests might indicate some other means of helping you. Of course, it was shortly after this that you returned to live with your mother, and as far as we could tell, this was what was required.

I do not know if you would wish to take this any further either by correspondence or by coming up to Highbury for a talk, but perhaps you will let me know how you feel. 

MY ANSWER. The reply that they do have a file is interesting, but I was now twenty, I just did not feel like either writing to them or even going up to see them. How could I ask them about things that I did not know if they knew about? My three years in their care were a bit mixed up in my mind. I wanted to forget about the matter but I couldn’t. There are so many things that I would like answers to, but I would find it difficult to ask the questions.

It was twenty years later when I saw my file. 

MY FILE
At the time I left the Home, my mother questioned me as to why they had asked me to leave. There was nothing I thought I had done wrong any more than usual to get this request made by the Home.

Until I received my file, I had little idea why the NCH had asked my mother to take me back. When I did get my file, I found that, by asking my mother to remove me, it would be the easiest way for my mother to make the decision if I should stay in the Home or return to her.
This simple piece of information shown to my mother might have made things more easily understood. Obtaining my file however came a few months after her death.

AFTER THE HOME
I remained in touch with Sister Pearl after I left the Home. Originally, she had moved into a retirement flat on leaving us. Life might have seemed a little dull, as within a short space of time she took on the position of a housekeeper and companion.
In later years, I visited her in Harpenden on a couple occasions.  When she decided to move down to the West Country, we still kept in contact and I visited her occasionally.  Sister managed to keep fit and enjoyed an active life for many more years.

Sister however was not the only member of staff that I was in contact with. There was still news from the Home and the Houseparent. After leaving the Home, each Christmas we received a newsletter listing all the events that had happened to the family during the year and how everyone was getting on. The newsletters were written at the end of each year, typed up and duplicated at the main office. They were sent out to relatives of the children, past residents of the family group and any friends known to the Houseparent.

The first Christmas after I left, there was a brief mention in the newsletter that year of how I had left the Home and was living with my mother. The next letter mentioned that the older children had now left school and gave the jobs they were doing.
The newsletter that came three years after I left was the last I received of news of the Home; its content was much like the previous ones, listing all the events of the year. It must have been compiled around the start of November. At the very end of the newsletter, an extra paragraph had been personally written by hand in the distinctive writing of the Houseparent. The death of the younger member of the group whom I had shared a bedroom with was now reported.
His death occurred while the newsletter was being produced. An earlier paragraph had been left in of his events during the year. The illness that he had always suffered had finally caught up with him.  To the adults it was known in advance that his life was going to be short. Yet as children, although we had been required to take extra care over him by way of diet and medication, we had never been informed that his life would end so soon; he had lived almost the same life as the rest of us.

A few years after I left, the Houseparent left the Home and returned to London. She sent a Christmas newsletter informing us of the new events in her life. A few years later, there was a party for her mother. Several friends of the Houseparent were going; it was mentioned that a couple of the girls that I had been at the Home with were going to attend so it would be nice if I could come. On the day, only one of the older girls that had been in our flat was able to attend, but it was an interesting meeting to reminisce on the events of our lives.
I remained in contact with the Houseparent for several more years, until a swift illness cut short her life at a far younger age than most of us would have expected.

After I left the Home, I’ve returned on several occasions to see if it was still as I remembered it.

The National Children’s Home at Harpenden closed down in 1985, but took on a new lease of life for a Christian Group – Youth With A Mission. The Houses and grounds are still as I left them all those years ago.

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http://www.philipastrangechild.com/page_1171114663687.html